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Our alarm for clairvoyant suggestions on how to abuse BP and its admiral for the oil discharge hit a nerve. It aggressive added than 120 comments and several dozen e-mailed suggestions, including a few in French from Slate.fr readers. (Merci!)
After combing through and allocation the responses, my cessation is that you are in a actual affronted and avenging mood, acquisitive to hit BP, its executives, and its shareholders area it hurts. There were assorted calls for shutting bottomward the company, abduction its assets, and arty assorted acknowledged and extra-legal sanctions on its executives.
The two best accepted proposed punishments are additionally the best acceptable to absolutely occur. Nearly 30 readers accepted that BP pay a astringent banking penalty. The federal government and the plaintiffs’ bar will about absolutely ensure that it does. And 18 of you advocated bent case of the aggregation and its executives, a action that the Amends Department may be pursuing.
You proposed several added absorbing punishments as well.
Beyond petroleum.Nearly eight years ago, I wrote a allotment debunking BP’s “Beyond Petroleum” announcement campaign. The oil company’s efforts to acrylic itself as a close for which hydrocarbons were alone a baby allotment of business was laughable. But this discharge could absolutely force BP to go above petroleum. Several readers appropriate acute BP to use the banknote it earns from its frequently adventuresome abstraction and processing of deposit fuels to armamentarium the alteration to altered activity sources. Karen appropriate we could crave BP “to use a assertive allotment of their profits per year in analysis and development of another activity resources, with a affirmation that some bulk of new tech is fabricated analytic accessible to consumers aural a assertive timeframe.” Nathalie tagged that allotment at 50 percent of all approaching profits, additional $75 million, which should go into hydrogen fuel-cell development. Judith Gill proposed that BP match, on a dollar-for-dollar basis, the amercement it causes with allotment for clean-energy technology.
The Glamour annual approach.There’s a accustomed address for burdensome animus on the admirer who aching you. Don’t get mad. Slim bottomward and get a makeover that will accomplish him rue the day he dumped you. Several readers advance we balloon about aggravating to get BP to armamentarium the alteration abroad from oil and aloof get on with it ourselves. Let’s alpha biking, access gas taxes to abash driving, body electric cars, and, best of all, body nuclear ability plants. Again we won’t charge BP. Writes Todd Bridges (that Todd Bridges?): “If the boilerplate environmentalist had not been so determined adjoin nuclear ability in the aboriginal ’80s we ability not be accepting all of the problems we’ve had over the aftermost 10 years, best of which accept to do with oil.” “Embrace nuclear ability and electric cars,” says Cameron MacPherson. “Enough is enough—it’s clean, it’s abundant safer now than it was 40 years ago, it removes our assurance on adopted oil.”
The Freakonomics approach.Several readers appropriate alteration incentives to animate BP and added oil companies to be bigger citizens. Raising the bulk of abortion and accretion the rewards of success in attention the ambiance could be a added able apparatus than adjustment or the blackmail of prosecution. John James appropriate a fee/reward system, beneath which “the company’s almanac is assessed already a year with a 10-year look-back on a set of metrics—spills, injuries, deaths, accessories failures as able-bodied as green investments/innovations, assurance innovations, cleanup/response innovations, etc. Anniversary comes with a fee based on severity or a accolade based on effectiveness. Anniversary year the company’s balance from the assessment is collected/disbursed and published.” Several readers appropriate tinkering with taxes on pollution. “What about a Super Tax to be imposed alone on those begin accusable of pollution?” asks Gary Ross. The tax, based on gross income, would burden a fee per butt of agitated oil. Aaron Martin appropriate “a accelerating tax amends that increases exponentially with anniversary infraction? … You can additionally add an escalator article that bliss in after, I don’t know, 35 canicule of abominably managing of the crisis.” Karl Marschel appropriate advocacy the per-barrel tax anniversary aggregation pays into the Oil Discharge Liability Trust Fund, “but accept that tax ratchet bottomward if a aggregation goes a assertive bulk of time after incident. … If you tripled the per butt tax to $15, anniversary aggregation would again be aggressive to abate incidents.”
The Quentin Tarantino approach.Get medieval on the executives. Devise punishments that accomplish them physically feel the affliction they accept acquired to others. On this score, our readers were absolutely imaginative. Nick Inzalaco: “Hit BP admiral over the arch with every aftermost one of the asleep fish.” Chad Brick appropriate “seppuku for the admiral of any close that colossally screws up.” Or we could booty all the amenable admiral and politicians “coat them all absolutely in awkward oil and bandy them in bastille until their bark suffocates.” Others appropriate sentencing BP admiral to absorb their time charwoman up oil-covered birds. My admired came from Becca: Raise money to fix the botheration by absolution BP advisers participate in a douse tank—filled with attenuated abysm water.
I had promised there would be prizes and was cerebration I’d buy BP gas cards for the best incisive, imaginative, interesting, of camp ones. But I ample that would go over about as able-bodied as a Abysm shrimp po’boy. So, instead, it’ll be Starbucks allowance cards. Accept a latte on me. The winners should address to me—[email protected]—to affirmation their prizes.
Robert Posey, for the best consequence of Dick Cheney. “Two words: ‘Extraordinary rendition.’ Let’s see how their admiral like Chinese jails, or Syrian, or conceivably North Korean.”
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