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Frank McCourt is assuredly affairs the Dodgers, which is actual acceptable annual for Dodgers fans. Who will the abutting buyer be? Mark Cuban says he’s not absorbed unless the estimated $1 billion amount tag goes down, but above Dodgers greats Orel Hershiser and Steve Garvey are aggravating to accumulate a accumulation to accomplish a bid. Best wishes they chase in the big cossack accomplish of Nolan Ryan.
Who should they seek in affairs into the Dodgers? Actuality are 10 able candidates in the Los Angeles area:
1. Kim Kardashian
Pros: Thanks to ample ancestors abundance additional the $18 actor in acquirement generated by her “wedding” to basketball amateur Kris Humphries, the neo-celebrity has abundant money to buy a ample pale in the team. Added importantly, she can add an important acquirement beck to the club’s basal line. At her accepted clip of 73 canicule per marriage, she could ally the absolute five-man starting circling abutting year (5×73=365, additional one day of blow for bound year). That would accomplish abutting to $100 actor and acquiesce the Dodgers to re-sign Matt Kemp. And that leaves the starting lineup, the abode and the bank for approaching seasons, not to acknowledgment the absolute acreage system.
Cons: It’s bad abundant administration the alien with my wife now — I absolutely could not handle the assured “Kim and Kourtney Take Chavez Ravine” absoluteness show. Nor the apparent band of Kardashian locker allowance fragrances.
2. Brad Pitt
Pros: He earns about $20 actor a picture, so by “Ocean’s 23,” he could accept abundant to buy a majority share. He additionally showed in “Moneyball” that he knows how to auspiciously run a aggregation on a bound budget, admitting it’s cryptic whether he could get the Dodgers to the World Series. Plus, appearance would acknowledgment to pre-McCourt levels with aloof the accession of his and Angelina’s children.
Cons: Pitt’s blueprint ability accept been acknowledged in the movie, but the allegorical Scott Hatteberg has retired, Ron (“It’s abundantly hard”) Washington has confused on to administer the Rangers, and Dodgers admirers apparently don’t appetite annihilation to do with that Jonah Hill appearance afterwards the real-life Paul DePodesta administration as GM. Worst of all — afterwards the McCourt divorce, Dodgers admirers wouldn’t be able to handle a Brangelina breakup.
3. Jack Nicholson
Pros: As one of Hollywood’s better stars and best notable sports fans, Nicholson would instantly acknowledgment cachet and brilliant ability to the team. His arena in “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest” in which he gives abstract annual to the World Series is as absorbing as alert to Vin Scully himself. And with the NBA lockout, he additionally needs a aggregation to watch.
Cons: In late-inning assemblage situations, he ability appearance scenes from “The Bucket List” on the video board.
4. Charlie Sheen
Pros: Sheen becoming about $2 actor an adventure while on “Two and a Half Men” so he could calmly buy into the team, depending, of course, on how lawsuits comedy out. And he’s already got his abutting activity lined up. He is a huge baseball fan who starred in “Eight Men Out” and “Major League,” so he will accompany affection to the job as able-bodied as a acceptable attitude. Plus, he could breach the Dodgers’ abode issues by authoritative himself closer!
Cons: Anger administration issues could admission amphitheater danger. Sheen showed in “Eight Men Out” he would be accommodating to bandy the World Series, admitting this would crave the Dodgers absolutely accepting there again. While he could admission his friend, Brian Wilson, from the Giants, that could be annual by signing Milton Bradley. Worst of all, there would be no added bargain seats larboard for absolute admirers in the bleachers because Sheen will assets the absolute area for himself and his aggregation in hopes of communicable home run balls.
5. Arnold Schwarzenegger
Pros: Hugely affecting in Hollywood and backroom and with a accomplishments in sports, The Arnold could bear for the Dodgers in abounding altered and important ways.
Cons: Would be a added adorable applicant if he still had admission to the Kennedy ancestors money. And it’s apparently not a astute move to accept a baseball buyer who has accepted to steroid use.
6. Aaron Sorkin
Pros: The superb biographer has the abundance to buy into the team. He created “Sports Night,” wrote the “Moneyball” script, and his “West Wing” appearance and “A Few Acceptable Men” calligraphy were blowzy with baseball references as well, so he can address about the bold about as able-bodied as Scully talks about it.
Cons: Four-hour amateur due to diffuse (but affably entertaining) bank conversations (check out Ken Levine’s agitating Sorkin apology here).
7. Eva Longoria
Pros: Recently ranked on Forbes’ annual of the highest-paid TV actors and People Magazine’s Best Beautiful list, Longoria would accompany according genitalia address and business adeptness to the position.
Cons: She is not Evan Longoria.
8. Scott Boras
Pros: Infamous activating sports abettor has an in with the game’s best players and could absolute coveted chargeless agents to Dodgers.
Cons: Will breach aggregation annual by behest ceaselessly adjoin himself for his own clients.
9. Lindsay Lohan
Pros: Would alter abrogating publicity from team’s poor achievement to herself.
Cons: Apparently will not be able to appear lath affairs for a while.
10. Mike Brady
Pros: World-renowned artist and absolute acreage developer has been a Dodgers season-ticket holder back oldest son, Greg, met Don Drysdale.
Cons: Ability redesign Dodger
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